Kali Love

Kali LoveI returned from London after an aMAzing month of  Kali love infused with Tantric study. I was teaching and spending time with family and friends. The month of May was devoted utterly to my beloved Goddess, Kali Ma. In my own study I called upon her often to show me the way and became her vessel as I taught in my classes which I shared in the last blog. Now on this New Moon day I share with you some Kali Love stories…

During the Full Moon class I remember saying to the group of 20 women and 2 men, as they held the pose pictured for 10 breaths, that it was useful for the men to remember that a woman is always right. The men seemed baffled, and the women of course smiled and laughed. However there is a much deeper meaning that during this one pose I couldn’t explain fully,  in 10 breaths, otherwise I would have 20 frenzied Kali’s and not enough Shiva to hold the space…so I am now explaining!

Kali’s Keys for Kali Love

During the classes I shared the mythical stories of Kali especially her birth and the 3 keys  I invoke with Kali :

  • Kriya Shakti meaning action and power, this is cutting through the illusion like Kali chops of the demons head.
  • Iccha Shakti meaning commitment, to lean into your experience as a portal to your awakening
  • Jnana Shakti meaning power of wisdom and presence


It is the third one that I am going to share in more depth within the mythical story that I finished up here.

Kali Love turns your world upside down unless….

Kali Love…you invoke the third key, presence and wisdom. She turns your world upside down, yet it’s all Kali Love. This is the play of the masculine and feminine. In Tantra, the feminine is Shakti, which Kali is an aspect of. Shakti is dynamic, power, passion, she creates, is fluid, changing, vulnerable. The masculine is  Shiva who holds space, is steady and presence.

In the Kali myth I finished the story when Kali had killed Raktabija...Kali destroys in order to create. Her iconic picture is one of Kali standing over Shiva, her Viche (sword) in one hand and the skull in another.  In this picture all her other weapons of consciousness help her to shape shift.

Now I will finished the story of Raktabija and show how deep Kali love is. How the Sacred Union, the union of the masculine and feminine energies and how this all relates to modern day.

Wisdom of the masculine

So once upon a time a long long time ago or maybe not so long ago for it is happening right now…. Kali came into being to destroy the demon that was creating havoc in the world and once she had done this she became wild, frenzied and lost in her emotions and intoxicated on destroying. In this frenzied state it was as if she was drunk and forgot her true purpose… mmm does this sound familiar to you?

Have you forgotten your purpose?

Do you get drunk to mask the pain and suffering within?

Kali continues to destroy everything and becomes more and more intoxicated, rather like a woman experiencing really really bad PMT. The other Gods become worried and start saying “she is going to destroy everything!” So they go to Shiva, who is Kali’s lover and they say “please go and stop her, she’ll listen to you because she loves you”.

Why Shiva will do anything for Kali Love

On a side note, Kali is the fierce face of the Goddess and said to be Shiva’s favourite, because it is said Shiva says “she is the most real”

So Shiva goes to the battlefield on the request of the other gods. Remember life in the modern day, can be a battlefield, especially for a woman who have lost her path, or self, suffer wit self doubt, or self confidence and then these are only exaggerated by pmt or hormonal changes. Instead of fighting with Kali, Shiva lies down. And looks intently at Kali with all his love. In that moment Kali still intoxicated stands on Shiva, her lover, about to plunge her sword in his heart. But then she pauses, looks at him…He meets Her with his steady, wide open gaze and in the midst of Her darkest moment, when She has lost herself completely, forgotten her purpose, He loves and accepts Her. His love wakes Her up.

I’m like awwwwww, and I touch my own heart, are you? This is like every woman’s dream – no?

A man accepts her for exactly who she is! Don’t know about you, but it took me a very long time to reveal my true self to men, until I met my  (now) husband. – I share my story below.

The Masculine as I said earlier is the frequency in Tantra that holds space and is steady for shakti to play, move, dance.

What Many Fear…

Many fear the fierce potential of shakti especially in the form of Kali. Society has taught us a different face of women. women have been suppressed for generations. It is this fear that has made us turn away or suppress this aspect of ourself, for fear of not being accepted. Women have learnt very well to numb the emotions of traumas and fear voicing or truly speaking up. Or have been in such a trauma that they freeze and go quiet. Or the other side is spiritual bypassing, in that if we are good spiritual practitioners then it is not considered ‘good’ to be wild or express anger. Yet is this the truth?

It is all so easy to become drunk like Kali on our own feelings and emotions and loose ourself or our path. And on the other hand many of us have felt the painful consequences of anger expressed unconsciously. Have you in either of these examples?

ShaktiKeysThe B I G Shakti key in this kali Love story is the meeting of Shiva and Kali eyes ::

what does this mean?

Your awakening happens inside your experience. Whatever arises in your life, allow whatever emotions to be the portal deeper to your experience. Inside the inside is where liberation lies. This is the heart of embodied awakening. No matter what arises you, I, we stay present and see or look, feel or listen. Let our senses be the guide for you to go deeper into the experience.

How does Kali’s story relate to the modern day?

and why a woman is always right?

As I explained earlier, the masculine holds the space for the feminine to dance. So let’s take a modern day argument between a man and woman….when a woman is mad and say has lost sight of what’s going on, because her emotions are high or she’s PMT… Say the man holds space, lays down like Shiva rather than go into the battle with her, he holds space and meets her eye and sees her trauma and agrees with everything she’s saying. Because a woman is always right.

how does he do this?

He doesn’t literally have to lie down, he pauses, begins to breath deeply and stays present to observe, the obSERVE serves by diffusing the emotions. This will then bring the masculine and feminine dynamic into a state of balance.

This is the dance of Shiva and Shakti, of the masculine and feminine within any relationship or within the relationship with yourself.

I know this is a challenging practice for the men, my husband has told me so! If I’ve not expressed it before, Kali is my go to Goddess, my mythical mother.

My own Kali Love story

I remember early on in my relationship with my husband, we were arguing. I got so heated up and my husband was calm. It made me madder, I lost myself, yet unconsciously I knew what I was doing. I was pushing him to react so he would run and reject the relationship and me. Because this had been my her story (history) up to that point, rejection and abandonment were my uncontrollable emotions (Raktabijas, from the Emergence of kali Ma blog). So in that moment I threw my coffee cup on the floor. and not just any coffee cup it was my favourite coffee cup all way from Australia. I cried out ‘now look what you made me do! ‘ Yes the blame game! And my husband calmly said ‘ who was she?’ I cried. He said ” I am not going anywhere, lets rest and then talk about this.” Acceptance, no rejection. This is my Kali Shiva story.

So you see through my story when the situation has been diffused, a man can then allow himself to get in touch with his feminine side, he can express his emotions about the situation at a later stage… ie honey when this happened I felt this… this way neither party store negative emotions in their bodies. And when the woman has calmed down she too can express her self and what was triggered from the past.

sacred union ecstasyThis is what I like to call the love-making of ShivaShakti. and that’s another story of how they actually make love… more on that in due course!

I’d like to say ‘thank you London, and thank you to all the Yogi’s (especially the two who came to class) who hold space for us women to dance! wildly, passionate and true to themselves!”

Jai ShivaShakti!