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Marry YourselfIs this a modern concept to “Marry Yourself”?

Yes maybe it is. Society was once in an old paradigm that was more masculine, in that it was product driven and you received reward for your goals. Now I believe there is a massive shift into embracing the more feminine qualities of receiving and nurturing. This brings balance. And I believe the modern day needs balance. We all need balance of the masculine and feminine frequencies with in us and all around us.

As I write this, it is approaching a New Moon, Navaratri – the Nine Nights of the Feminine and Autumn Equinox. The latter being a time to celebrate the harvest and when there’s equal balance of light and dark, or night and day. This is a time to acknowledge and embrace your uniques place in the cycle of life. So what better way for a New Moon, or a new cycle to completely honour you and marry yourself.

In the Old way, Marry Yourself would be…

In our parents generations, receiving, self love, honouring yourself was deemed selfish. I teach and coach that the most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. So marry yourself is a practice to truly honour and respect yourself, no matter what. You fall in love with yourself and become your own Beloved.

Life became so busy and disconnected, because we were doing so much. Parents are working longer hours to make a living or to keep up with the competition, so may have little time for the children. And children are learning that the way to communicate is through a screen. Internet, text messages, Facebook, Instagram are the ways to connect. I pause here for at least there’s some connection.

However, there comes a time, usually in a woman’s life when she really feels this disconnection that has been growing within her. Maybe she feels it when a relationship breaks up, or she loses a job, or someone dies. Or maybe she just has a deep longing or calling within her soul, that there must be something more.

As a coach, this is what I hear a lot with my clients. It’s what I see in classes and retreats when I teach. This is why I empower women to deepen and intimate connection with themselves.

How Marry Yourself spoke to me?

If you’ve read my story 2009 was a pivotal time for me. Briefly I met Tantra, met my now husband, suffered an illness. The universe was saying I needed to change. And the illness made it so that I had no choice. You can read about it in my story . My metamorphosis was exceptionally painful at first. Then like a Phoenix rising, I rose from the ashes and made a commitment to myself. This was ‘marry yourself’ time. I was not with my boyfriend (now husband) as we had troubles. And so in that time apart the commitment I made to myself was to marry myself. That is why I am sharing marry yourself.

Marry-YourselfI made a commitment to no longer have relationship where I was a ‘booty call’. If you are not sure what this is google it. You’ll learn in fact it wasn’t a relationship. My previous relationships, if you can call them that, were very non-committal. I chose those relationship because of my fear about commitment. I transformed this. So If I was saying to the universe that this was acceptable. It was why I was receiving them.

I began to change the dialogue with the universe. I declared that unless there was commitment, I said no. I had thought sex was connection and intimacy, and I longed for a relationship and thought ‘it’s ok, he’ll change. he’ll want me in time.’ Does this speak to you? There’s even a film made about it “he’s just not into you”. Now I know this is hard too accept, The truth hurts. And this is where I say ‘you got to put on your big girl panties and make the choice’.

I did.

In 2011 I married myself. I began to honour my whole being, wit self love, self care, and self respect. I said no when I’d ‘normally’ say yes. My normal changed. I gave myself love, respect and I began to commit to al sorts of things. I took myself on dates, practiced a lot of yoga, had lots of massages and made commitments with friends and work!

And the ceremony I invoked was to put a ring on my finger, which never comes off. In fact I put 5 stacking rings, gold, silver and white gold. Different colours for the the unity of all colour. 5 for the 5 senses and at that time my “Awaken Your Senses” programmes were born.

Marry Yourself is a ritual, a practice, a marriage, that yes, like any marriages has its ups and downs. But there is a commitment that you have chosen to love, honour and respect yourself. First. And for me personally commitment, turns me on. It’s big fat juicy YES! When you give yourself so much self love, you let go of the victim role of needing anyone else to give you that or save you. You change to an empowered woman.

I wish to be clear, this is not another mask of the strong independent woman who can do everything for herself. That is so far from the point. I was that strong independent woman who was hiding behind the mask or secure and happy. Marrying myself was the invitation to take off the mask, be seen in my vulnerability and love myself 108% –108 for the mala, another symbolism for me.

How do you Marry Yourself?

You step into the experience and become your own Beloved. You make a commitment to you. Be the qualities you love and embrace them.

A beautiful visionary I know Heather Rhodes from studiopetronella.com beautifully shares Marry Yourself in this stunning video…

Step in Ladies,

Marry Yourself 

Watch heather’s video here on Vimeo  

 

marry yourself from Heather Rhodes on Vimeo.