Tantra Sex -Make Love a Meditation

I’m sharing the ‘how to’ with 4 simple techniques on how Tantra Sex – make love a meditation. These simple techniques will transform your sex and empower you to feel more confident sexually. These can also be used as a practice to connect with another person, for example how to deepen inter-connection for business as well as dating.

I’m sharing this, this weekend because it’s my wedding anniversary, I married the same man twice and this one is my Barbados Blessing. All week we’ve been sharing deep meaningful loving, I call soul sex, that makes me feel happy, treasured, seen, desired, held, ALIVE, and a Goddess so confident in my body!

Back to Tantra Sex

Tantra Sex - Make Love a MeditationBut most want to know what Tantra sex is and the difference between Tantra sex and regular or vanilla sex. Here’s the low down…
  • Regular sex connects you on a physical level
  • Tantra sex connects you on a mind body soul level or soul sex, where sex becomes worship.
This might sound woo-woo but Tantra at its core centres on union with the divine, where you see your lover as the Divine. Just think of it as a tool that can bring more intimacy into your life. Tantra invites you to explore intimacy where you are vulnerable enough to be seen on all levels.
Tantra is not only about sex. Tantra is a deep ritualised practice where the Neo-Tantra has taken on some of the spiritualised sex techniques so sex becomes more expansive, while, rejuvenating and new all the time.
YOUR BIGGEST SEX ORGAN IS YOUR MIND, so you’ve got to learn to overcome your psychological roadblocks to explore deep intimacy.

How to begin Tantra Sex -Make love a meditation tips 

Observe how many of these tips you apply to your own body and self – so you don’t even need a partner, you can begin exploring Tantra sex with yourself in a self-love, self-pleasure ritual


Your breath is your single most source to become more conscious, feel more alive and connected to your body. And the sensations within your body. When you have a sensational experience of sex, your senses are turned on 108%. Your breath is the single most tool that awakens the whole body to come alive, erotic, turned on, aroused, just the sound of the breath is sexy! So al that gets you in your amazing body.
Your breathing 21,600 a day, imagine if you tapped into just some of those breaths to feel more alive and present in your own body.

How to tap into your own breath

🔺Observe your inhalations and exhalations – think that might be obvious.  Where is the breath in your body?
  • Inhale in the nose
  • Exhale out the mouth – this is 1st step, out mouth releases more stress or tension or stuck emotions.
Then as you inhale can you begin to invite breath in through the nose down into the body, deeper into the body and as you exhale breathe the air up your body and out your mouth, with the sound of ahhhhh or a soft haaaaaa as if fogging a mirror. Now cultivate a steady flowing rhythm between me inhalation and the exhalation. As you feel this delicious rhythm with each breath invite the breath deeper into the body, down towards your pelvis and your sex organ.
This can be a self practice.
Tantra Sex - Make Love A Meditation
🔻🔺Now once you tapped into your own breath, when you are with your partner, begin to breathe together. Pause, listen and begin to breathe in harmony. Both inhaling and exhaling together – this helps you tune into each other to connect to each other. Listen to the sound of each other’s breath. And to take it step further, make the sounds sexy – you know the sounds just before you gunna cumm, yep let your partner hear REAL sounds and the sounds get you out your head into your body and your body starts to respond. Try it and let me know!
Lastly scientific proof – Stanford scientists have identified a small group of neurons that communicates goings-on in the brain’s respiratory control center to the structure responsible for generating arousal throughout the brain.”


This could be one of the first tips because when you begin to practice together like breathing, anything can surface and show up, then maybe even trigger. You know the thoughts “what does he think of me, what do I look like, do I sound silly” “am I doing it right, is she ok?”
For sample with the breathing you may find one breathing quicker than the other or one wants to control the situation.

This is where you have to have no judgement on yourself if you’re breathing in your chest, or she/he is. It means that you/they may be stressed or nervous or anxious. It is a sign the body is in the sympathetic nervous system or fight flight . To change this, pause and soften and help each other to feel and breathe deeper. This is why so many people are told to breathe deeply yoga.

When we begin breath deeper, we breath long and slow and this take the breath deeper. This means brings the breath deeper into the body that engages the diaphragm this takes us out of the stress fight and flight and into the parasympathetic nervous system which basically means it relaxes your mind. _ What the scientist and physiology tells us.

So I have no judgements is to soften relax feel and accept everything that arises. whatever arises becomes the portals into the meditation and ritual.
3rd tip…

🔻EYE GAZINGTantra Sex Make Love a Meditation

This opens the heart, deepens intimacy by clearing intimacy blocks, releases shame. This allows you to give and receive energy, through your some of your senses – sight, touch
So to practice eye gazing with your self you’d practice a meditation of looking into your own eyes in a mirror. Sounds simple but I’ll say to you- this triggers a lot. You might be surprised what comes up. You’d practice the above to breathe deep and have no judgements and just observe all the faces you see…I’ve got a meditation of eye gazing here, you can do with me, then try solo in the mirror. I created it for my late teacher Psalm Isadora.
I find it’s easier to log into the left eye and then use diffused field addition when you look into the left and also what is around you with in the mirror that reflects the room of space you’re in. This softens the gaze and relaxes the eyes, calms the mind. 
🔺 Now you can begin to practice with your lover. I suggest you practice this outside of the bedroom for the first time  – maybe at dinner or a coffee in a casual setting. Then when you come to the bedroom your vulnerability to be seen on a different level can be more relaxed.
Last tip for now…


Slowing down any of the processes allows you to come into the experience of a ritual meditation this is the essence Tantra sex – make love a meditation.
Modern day living is fast and more and more people are connecting virtually, but look at Instagram videos are one minute long. Scientific studies are revealing that the attention span of millennials is less than 8 seconds, less than a goldfish. Wow!

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So where I said that of biggest sex organ is the mind, quick sex isn’t going to make a mediation. And I also said the biggest sex organ is the mind. We have so many psychological blocks that we need to overcome, we need time to be vulnerable enough to slow down and feel.

How are you do one thing is how you do everything. Are you eating quickly, whilst on your phone, on your computer? Do you even taste your food? When you go out with another person are you continually on your phone? Now how you do one thing is how you do another –  how are you having sex? is it over within two minutes?

Scientifically – Tantra Sex – Make Love A Meditation

Scientifically it takes a man anywhere from 2-7 minutes before he ejaculates whereas it takes a woman between 30 to 45 minutes. I’LL REPEAT THAT it takes a woman between 30 to 45 minutes before her body is fully aroused so that she can experience ecstatic realms of an orgasm. and I’m not talking about the clitoral explosive type. This means slowing down to allow a woman to have all her erogenous ones awakened and stimulated so she experiences different types of orgasms in her body.
again scientifically 70% of women have difficulty achieving orgasm. The science and specifically Freud expanded this in connection with distance of clitorial to vaginal opening. Yet the ancient Tantrika were more aware of the clitoral legs, the labia arousal. So Slowing down assist a woman to connect to her feminine energy, of feeling, fluid, receptive rather than her masculine energy od doing and achieving a result – orgasms.
Okay so I’ll be back with more tips – do you want more? Like a beautiful touch meditation that will arouse you just by reading it  !