Year of Sacred Union
Every year I create an intention for the year, on a theme that I wish to explore within myself and my offerings and teachings. 2015 has been the year of Sacred Union.
when I originally thought of this, it was because I had recently married and was about to make the leap of faith and move continents to be with my husband. I yearned to explore more union within all realms, with myself and especially my husband. the invitation with Sacred union was the Oneness it to become Divine with a deep honouring that is holy. The year of sacred union intention’s for others I mentor, inspire and teach was to unite with yourself in the dance of creation, by deepening sadhana, ritual and practice with intention.
Initially when I began teaching this theme, I was met with resistance from students when I travelled back to UK to teach… I held the space, listened to the resistances and stepped back in the first half of the year as the union with my new home, my husband blossomed. then in that space the latter half of the year, the resistance in Uk dissipated, and i was met with more that came forth in Barbados – the lesson was/is I am connecting to the Sacred Union here, after all I moved to be in sacred union with my husband, myself, nature, life and the life I am creating.
I had forgotten this element of uniting with the self until the latter half of the year and My yoga sadhana chose to remind me in ways I had not visualised…. this is the beauty of intention, you don’t analyse how you are going to get this, or achieve it, it’s about aligning your whole being with the intention and allowing this alignment to unfurl.
My re-uniting with Sacred Union
I began my sadhana time with my teacher Chameli at Awakening Womens’ Institute with Lalitha Devi Sadhana and i thought wow yes this is the sadhana for my year of sacred union… for Lalitha is the goddess that marries the holy with the erotic… mmm yes!
yet during this sadhana, i felt disconnected, contracted, resistances built up, i became ill and this was then mirrored to me through my students. Now looking back the lesson i had to learn more intimately was even more surrender, the true surrender in body, not what i think my mind is saying surrender, its is a deep letting go of the grip from inside the inside…the holy place of pilgrimage
My ‘holy’ in my sadhana was sacred, yet my erotic realm, i held back, how could I invoke Lalitha more and surrender to her teachings, when i still felt the grip from past let downs in relationships that was held in my celluar make up. now I am with the first man who truly loves me, the whole of me, he has accepted my flaws and has seen me laid bare, open, fierce and wild and uncontrollable as well as calm, happy, loving and laughing and in need of his immense support and guidance – when i couldn’t breath earlier this year he even gave me his breath….
Erotically I have not unleashed fully til now. It is one thing being seen, on all levels where you fully receive him in sacred union – I dont know about you, but for me that has been the release i’ve yearned for to free the shackles and liberate – one might call it a deep Kundalini Awakening and others a full body orgasm. I am not talking again about a doing, on or off the mat, in or out of the bedroom – for when you practice with Feminine Tantra practices, it is a natural progresssion or evolution to bring these sacred practices into the bedroom, like ujjayi, or ha kriya, or yoni (mula) bandha… this is also the sacred union of the high tantrika yogini’s – more on this another time (- next years theme!)
He is always with in HEr
Having moved to another country, where really the only friend i have is my husband, I’ve had plenty time to contemplate, feel ,explore….I’ve immersed my self in mother nature and this has invited me deeper inside my own nature… this particular time right now is a time like this. i’m reviewing the year. Yes I know people, yet it takes a while to build up true friendships. I’ve felt the seperation for some time and so paradoxically how can I feel union and deeper that that sacred union? this was my practice to let go of the seperatuon my mind so call makes up and real;ise i am utterly intimately connected and in union in every moment – it is a choice
I chose to deepen my faith, my practice in the feminine, the Divine Feminine and allow Her to guide me. I wrote this in my Sacred Union blog
“In my life if you haven’t realised by now, I seek the relationship of union with the Divine, to become One, … and through my body I experience the Divine, the deep connection. this quote from Iyengar has always had a huge impact on my life, my sadhana, my yoga…
It is through your body that you realise you are a spark of divinity ~ BKS Iyengar.”
Kali is the first goddess who truly stripped me bare and invited surrender – if you listen to my story it was her voice whispering to me “surrender Michelle”.
so the Kali sadhana this time was my most amazing! I was present, I rode the waves, and I let him enter me, I let Her guide me. for He is always with in HEr…
what do i mean? when you are present, fully aware this is your Shiva, masculine nature holding space for the feminine, Shakti to be free so she is fluid and moves, arouses, awakens to Her, yet as you awaken to your shakti, both he and she are intimately present – this is the sacred union. like the picture shows, Shiva holds space as Shakti moves and arouses. – more on this next year!
Sexually for example how present are you? are you in the moment, feeling, enjoying the caress, the taste of his/her lips the undulating movement or the pleasure of stillness? or is your mind someone else and you are gripping anf trying so hard to achieve that orgasm
or say you are with a friend, family or lover are you with them or fiddling with your iphone?
mmmm yep modern times!
so back to Kali Sadhana, I was immersing deeper than before, in sadhana, there is lots of practice, feminine practice to feel, reflect, not judge or analyse. and one of them we were asked to ask Kali a question… i asked, yet received no answer, only silence, i asked is silence the key – yes! ok, so i sat with this. then couple days later i asked and i was guided “i’ll show you” ok…mmmm, since september She, Kali, has been showing me…
i then attended a workshop which I had before hand decided to drop my armour, no one knew me, and I decided to let my ego go, the I of seperation to fall away. in doing this, which paradoxically I was not doing, i utterly surrendered. at the end of this workshop during a meditation with a new form of breathing, all boundaries dissolved…
the line from my intention ” I seek the relationship of union with the Divine”
It is through your body that you realise you are a spark of divinity ~ BKS Iyengar
through this meditation and awakening naturally unfurled…I, not the ego, the divine aspect of me became One with Kali… I cannot describe it other than a kundalini awakening that lasted for days… I felt the year of sacred union evolved more than i ever imagined. the union, the devoted, sacred union with my self and the Divine took me into realms of ecstasy where my masculine presence, my shiva nature held space for my feminine soul, shakti to rise and merge with Kali Ma – she certainly did show me and continues to do so…. in dreams, visions and awakenings. She guides me further within the union i sought with my husband and our sacred sexuality blossoms so beautifully erotic.
the rise the fall
Of course as i’ve often written, when you truly deepen the commitment, everything will surface to pull you away for this and yep this happened for me… I was riding the waves of Shakti for days, unfurling in the ecsatsy of union, when a situation arose that was so linear, so masculine full of fear, that a person used the collective to try to put me down, ‘get rid of me’ (sadly they were the words used!) and boom, my liberation was shattered. I let it, for I still had resistances to release and in this so hurtful experience I gained true knowledge. the stagnant energy of bullying as a child rose and released, the stagnant energy of my first sexual experience rose and released.
My husband held me, his masculine presence cradled me, we became so close, my tears were like the flow of Ma Ganga. as I healed I tried to analyse it (mirroring those masculine logical ways that was shown to me) and so I sought refuge in my teachers, two wrote to me and offered profound guidance and encouragement for me to practice… of course let go of the linear that i was pulled back to and come to the feminine – this is my mission, my dharma! they reminded me i was on my feminine path and not to allow the old paradigm, linear masculine of others surface my fears, doubts. I also received guidance from another teachers audio; that when you awaken more fully, and there’s more armour or resistances that need to be burned or let go of, then earthly situations will bring you down to earth!
and so the year of sacred union evolves, it’s opened up a new realm of sacred union with Shakti, my essence that I now allow to guide me. My return to Uk I yearned for, for I immersed myself in study, that awakened another realm of union with Shakti.
This year of sacred union has awakened me to what my whole being is pulsating with… shakti and when i allow her/me to flow, marry, merge the union unfurls all of its own. Tantra is gifting me with so many new jewels on the gem of the necklace that Tantra is that i will explore more with you next year.
i leave you with contemplation
where can you bring more union within your self and with another?
like the waves ripple out affecting everyone we are all so intimately connected, in sacred union and the more of us who respect and honour this, the more this will ripple out into the world and we will share sacred union…in the global cOmmUNITY