As a extra-ordinary 2014 closes, a cycle coming to an end, slowing down, since Winter Solstice I planted seeds of intention and have been allowing them to grow so a new fertile beginning arises and arouses. I write this one month since I left the UK to begin a new life with my husband in Barbados.
I am a-MA-zed as I reflect upon my year. I am also humbly grateful, beyond words. As many of my blogs detail I made a commitment to honour the Divine Feminine in everything I do and dance in the throb and pulse of Shakti and wow in this honouring and this commitment for my own sadhana and sharing with others, my life has expanded 1008%, more than I ever thought and SO quickly too. By teaching, committing to and inviting others in the natural rhythmical cycles of life, especially the moon sadhana, then the seasons, the tides, the sun, birth, life, death, day to night…
I made a call at the beginning of 2014 in my first blog of 2014:
I call you all to:
Awaken your senses
Get turned on to life
ॐ have you? I do hope so….I have and am so grateful to awaken and get turned onto a true life!
ॐ How have these practices helped you to get more in tune with your inner and outer world and the natural cycles in the universe?
Everything that exists in your outer world exists within you… Our planet is an exchange of giving and receiving, evolving and dissolving..
And so as I sit in my new home in the Caribbean I see my outer world reflecting a deep desire I had many years ago of being more in nature, by the sea, tropical weather, I had always dreamed of living by the ocean and wrote a detailed “desire map” 4 years ago and had put it away. I found it a few months ago and a lot of what I desired was coming to fruition. Yet if you had asked me at the beginning of 2014 if I were going to live in the Caribbean by the end of the year I would not have said yes, it was not my intention, neither was my marriage! My blog a Leap of Faith truly details how the practices I teach are mirrored in my living life, I live and breathe them!
My committed intention was to teach others about the powers of the Divine Feminine, my worship, my honouring is deep, yet She is me! ” Since there is no difference between Shakti and the one who embodies her” Vijnana Bhairava Tantra. and here now I share that my personal sankalpa was “ I am open to receive” haha She sure did gift me, to this year I bow as it closes and a new cycle begins. here is a lesson, when your sankalpa is in service of something much greater… life shifts!
I committed to teach as many people as I met, about Shakti – and you can read about in my Shakti blog, I yearned to awaken women especially, but did not exclude men, to Her tremendous power and essence within them, and guide them to become aware how there is an imbalance for women especially in modern day, being more in their masculine. I know this because I saw it in myself! in today’s society women are pursuing a masculine role to succeed rather than utilising their innate feminine power, which doesn’t battle or push, but receive. I am more aware now, yet still battle with a dominant male side or shadow feminine that is over- analysing and logical, pushing, striving, in competition to get everything done, with endless lists! does this sound familiar to you? are you a woman who has endless to do lists, and thinks rather than feels, is in her head more than her body?
Commitment is key, when I truly committed, everything changed, I began to receive . Commitment is the engagement, the joining together, commitment is about saying yes, whether it is to a lunch date, or the alignment in a yoga asana or class or committing to attending a workshop rather than leave it to the last minute in case something better comes along! In commitment you receive, primarily pleasure as you are committing to something you want to do.
do you commit to anything in your life?
the last few years have been about my own commitment to myself, my growth and immensely to my sadhana, to self exploration that blossomed the intimacy – into-me-i-see… I became intimately aware and embraced every aspect of myself.Even those parts that I sometimes catch myself and think why am i reacting like that or especially with my boyfriend now husband, I revealed a side of myself that even surprised me, but I was pushing to see if he’d embrace them as I was trying to embrace my own demons ( and since we are now married we both did embrace them)
In doing this I learnt i was more dominant in my masculine or the shadow feminine revealed herself a lot. Let’s put it simply to step into the feminine shoes say instead of manly boots, is like taking off out-dated clothes that are either too small or just don’t fit or just not your style or fashion. the Feminine called me strongly to strip off my clothes, jump of the fence in June, which i wrote in Step into the unknown. many women especially put off doing things waiting for when’s, if’s or figuring out the how… i too was like that until May/June time; I was one foot on the fence, dipping one foot off, to test the waters… yet after my retreat Sadhana on Durga I learned about being vulnerable and in this vulnerability you surrender to a higher power that has this supreme intelligence that guides you and helps you strip off the masks of out dated clothes and reveal the truth of being laid bare. That’s when I literally jumped two feet off the fence and made the decision to move to Barbados, then my marriage came forth because I showed 108% commitment.
of course this higher power, Shakti is within you, This throbbings, pulsing creative primordial energy that is One with the pulse of the Universe, and so when you align with Her, the masks, the sitting on the fence that contains you, or contracts you all become apparent. And She/You are called to take them off or jump off, BOOM the into-me-i-see, is so clear, the intimacy holds you close, nurtures you to move from the truth of your deepest desires. That is what Ma Durga, the Divine Feminine, Shakti, the feminine face of God, whatever word resonates with you for this essence, is about truth, the intimate truth that that you are deeply connected and co-create your life, you align with the pulse of the Universe.
Intention for 2015
so for these last few days of 2014, I am pausing, making a commitment to slow down as i contemplate and reveal my intention for my teachings for 2015. this is the divine dance of this yogini, who’s alive and tending the heart fire of creation… my life has changed so much in the course of this 12 months, I am deeply grateful to the Divine Feminine, Her presence in my worship has moved me quite literally and metaphorically. I feel guided and supported to be in nature to feel Her more, for Prakriti is feminine and nature. as I immerse myself in nature, the ocean, Mother Earth and Her sand between my toes, the vast skies and stars, the blessed Mother Moon, the immense fiery Surya, I begin to feel One with Spirit, The Divine and that is where I dance… next year i again will invite you into the dance of creation… next blog in a few days… so this is to be continues!
with love and thank you for being part of an a-MA-zing 2014..
for the new beginnings i offer:
Om Shrim Hrim Klim Glaum Gam Ganapataye Namaha